Dating advice

How to approach a girl you like

When it comes to dating, approach a girl you like might be the hardest part.

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

I know for a lot of men, seeing a beautiful girl walks by is the most nervous time they might experience. We feel like we should go to say ‘Hi’. But then our fear comes into play. It tells us ridiculous things like “Stop! You will embarrass yourself if you go talk to her” or “You have to try to be cool! Let her walk by! Then she will notice you”. I felt it too. And trust me, there’s nothing cool to let the girl you like walk away. So I will tell you some tips, that can calm your nerve and push you just go talk to her.

Don’t think too much! Just do it

“Thinking too much leads to paralysis by analysis. It’s important to think things through, but many use thinking as a means of avoiding action.”
— Robert Herjavek

We often think too much about what happens next. “If I say ‘Hi’, what she might say next. What if she slaps me in the face and people around will look at me like I’m a jerk. What if she calls the police, will I be in jail for the rest of my life.”

Most of the scenarios we create in our mind will never happen. It’s just the fear. Just the excuse preventing us from doing the things we want. Try to get over it. If you try enough the times to approach a girl, you will realize that the result will not be like that at all. The worst case is that she will smile and refuse to give you a phone number, or she might say she’s busy so she can’t talk right now. That’s it. Nothing is scary at all.

When there’s a girl go by, and you want to say talk to, just say “Hi, My name is .. ”. Don’t think for other sentences after that. Let it flow. You might be run out of things to say next for the first few times, but that’s the way it is. Approaching women is like anything in life, it needs practices. Don’t expect it has to be perfect when you start.

When I tried the first few times to talk to the girls walk by, I ran out of things to say next after said Hi. But guess what? They actually asked me back and introduce themselves. And you know what? Whether you believe it or not, girls like to be chasing. They just won’t tell you that.

Give the girl the chance so she can reject you

Yes, it’s just simple is that. We all know that when approaching women, most of the time we will fail. But we just need a few times to be right. Just think like you’re giving a chance for the girl so she can reject you.

If she rejects you, what’s the worst can happen? You will not have the girl you want? That’s it. Nothing’s changed. If you don’t go talk to her, you still don’t have a chance to have her. If you go talk to her, you will have a better off chance. So go talk to her anyway. Just relax. Show her that you like her and you want to get to know her. Just smile and say ‘Hi’.

“Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be.” –Eckhart Tolle

Keep it playful, show who you are

Photo by You X Ventures on Unsplash

Keep the conversation to be playful. Nothing’s to be so serious when you try to talk. Just see her as your regular friend. Show her who you really are.

I know that this sounds hard but you need it so that the conversation flows. You have to relax and comfortable. Then she might be comfortable too. If you are too nervous, too serious in the talk, it will be really hard for her to enjoy the talk.

Remember this, most of the things you talk about when you are with her, she will forget. She only remembers the feeling when you’re around her.

Don’t try to pretend to be who you’re not. You will not be comfortable when you are pretending. And she will sense this. Just say what you want to say. Just don’t be rude or to be an asshole.

After all, remember this. You are the prize. You are the goddamn prize. Not her, not anyone, not anything. She’s not as important as you are.

So even in the case she rejects you, it’s just fine. Move on. Go find other girls. Believe me. In most of the time, you will find other girls you might like. That’s just the way it is. Don’t be stress. Feel good because at least you try. Many others don’t even dare to say “Hi” to the girls they like.

“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final”
― Rainer Maria Rilke

A passionate automation engineer who strongly believes in “A man can do anything he wants if he puts in the work”.

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